Forgive Like a Roman Emperor

It’s 175 AD.

After falling incredibly ill due to a plague ravaging your Empire for years, and while fighting a war in the East, you hear that one of the most essential generals you’ve trusted for years is arranging a coup.

It’s not merely a coup.

It turns into a civil war.

Brother against brother, war erupts.

Your generals and council approach you, asking how you’d like to respond to your one beloved friend’s Rebellion. You think for a long time, pondering over how previous Emperors might have responded in the past.

And finally, you come to them, saying “Forgive a man who has wronged one, to remain a friend to one who has transgressed friendship, to continue faithful to one who has broken faith.”

That was Marcus Aurelius, the last Good Roman Emperor from 161–180AD to his council in regards to Avidius Cassius’s rebellion in the East.

Marcus instructed to capture, but not kill Cassius.

The man who betrayed him.

The man who took advantage of Marcus’ poor health in order to acquire power for himself.

And Marcus forgave him.

That is true Stoicism.

To understand.

To forgive.

To be wise.

You see, Stoicism has a bad rap in many people’s brains. They confuse Stoicism with being stoic. And there’s a BIG difference between being stoic and Being a Stoic.

Being stoic is about repressing emotions, good or bad. It’s about not expressing those emotions in order to appear stronger, stable, or whatever end one might seek.

This is not Stoicism.

To be a Stoic(capital S), one mustn’t simply repress or ignore emotions. They aren’t to never feel pain, never weep, never feel — but rather, they turn negative or unhealthy emotions into constructive, healthier emotions with wisdom and reason.

A Stoic will take the fear and anxiety they might feel, and instead of pushing it down or being controlled by it, they will search through it, applying reason, wisdom, logic, and work through it.

Let’s take the example of Courage.

One of the key virtues of Stoicism is Courage; acting in spite of fear. The in spite of fear is essential. To act courageously, one must feel fear. Then they must overcome it by acting. But in order to display courage, one must first feel fear.

As we see, to be a Stoic is not about never feeling or expressing emotions — but it’s simply about retaking control of them and not being misled into unnecessary anxiety, fear, and unhappiness because of them.

One aspect of Stoicism that often goes unnoticed is the social aspect of Justice, Fairness, and Kindness. In Meditations, the de-facto Stoic bible of Aphorisms and Truths, Marcus Aurelius notes that one must act with Kindness, Sincerity, and Generosity. He aims to cultivate a sense of Fraternity and brotherhood among the Roman senators and council. Stoicism isn’t about being mean or harsh or hurting others — in fact, it’s the opposite.

This brings us back to how Marcus treats Cassius the rebel.

While most people, much less Roman Emperors, would treat Cassius with indignity and hate, Marcus forgives. Marcus Aurelius, when he first assumed throne in 161 AD, proclaimed he would never kill another Roman Senator or treat them with Injustice.

And he sticks to that.

Even when the injustice was done to him.

Because Marcus understands something essential.

Stoics are guided by wisdom and reason.

And wisdom can be summed up as knowing how present decisions affect future outcomes.

And Marcus realizes that violence, hate, greed, delusion, irrationality, injustice, all of it only begets more injustice.

The more you kill, the more others will attempt to kill you.

The more violent tactics you use, the more violent tactics your enemy will employ.

Violence and Hate only lead to one thing.

More violence and hate.

Why hold grudges?

Why be angry?

Why seek to destroy or exact revenge upon those who have harmed you? It only leads to more issues. To more suffering. To more sadness. To more strife. To more violence. To more hate.

To Forgive is to be Wise.

Forgive like a Roman Emperor.

Thank you for reading. I love you.

Find me on Twitter, Threads, and Instagram(all @armaan.ajoomal).

Share this with a friend if you found something cool, and I’ll see you in a bit